Daryth Wynn Jacob: April 29, 1987 - February 12, 2006

Remembrances have been written by:

Sara Teichholtz
Molly Keefe '05
Jessica Adam
Rachel Adam
Chapin Jacob
Lynn Kindley
Ray Adam
Dorothy Adam
Charlie Jacob
Joan Gilliland
Heather McPherson
Jill Mariani
Alisa Harding Stein
Colleen Tocci
Katie Elrod
Diane Lyon
Karen Bohlin
Heather McKinney
Kelly Stalmok '05
Elizabeth Mahoney
Mary Jane Rice

If you would like to write a remembrance to be posted on this page, please email it to Dr. Karen Bohlin, kbohlin@montroseschool.org.

Sara Teichholtz, Friend of Dary's
To Dary;
How strange it is not to be able to see your earthly presence.
Nevertheless, you appear often in my dreams and even more frequently in my thoughts, especially when I look up at the sky. I like to think I see you in the long rays of sun light that break through those colored clouds that only appear during sunset. I hope it's not too cliched to think of Angels riding on white clouds up in Heaven... I can just see you hiking up those tall storm clouds and looking down on us from the "summit"!
A few days ago, in the beautiful St. Giles Church of Scotland, I lit you a candle and wrote down your name in the little basket of prayers. It was a very large church full of tiny tombs and chapels on all the sides, and after I had dropped your name into the basket, I saw that I was next to the tomb of a man from Montrose! I took it as a small sign and happily went on my way exploring the church. A few feet away, my friend Katie had found a large opening in the wall, partially hidden by a pew. She said, "Look in there and tell me what you see." I gazed in, expecting to see some dusty tomb or Latin writing, but instead saw only a large empty hollow, flat on the bottom, in the center of which sat one lonely Christmas cookie! Katie and I laughed and laughed and she said that you must have sent us a cookie in thanks for the candle. I, like Charlie, look forward to seeing more of your little tricks.
I never did get to tell you in this world how much you meant to me, and all of us. I'll always remember the trips to Vermont and the loving atmosphere I always felt in the Jacob household. It won't be the same without you. Thank you for being there always as a reminder of the goodness of humanity, with your big smile, happy laugh, and intense love for everything you pursued. You've given me the ultimate gift--the fath and knowledge that there is somewhere joyous and light after this life.
As stated very eloquently in a quote I recently heard, "Some human beings claim to have spiritual experiences. But really, we're all just spiritual beings having a human experience." We'll be seeing you then, yes? Dary, I'll miss you always.
All my Love,
Sara Teichholtz

Molly Keefe, Montrose School Class of 2005
I remember one spring morning in tenth grade after we all stayed over Dary’s house, we piled into the car and drove over to Elm Bank with Daisy and Mr. Jacob. Mr. Jacob and Dary had a tradition of picking Lily of the Valley when it first came out. It was a beautiful day, early spring, and while Elm Bank had not yet fully bloomed, a variety of small flowers glistened along the rail. We walked and talked and picked flowers. Dary and her dad cracked jokes. There was a lot of laughter. The fresh air revitalized us after a fun night of little sleep and the company perfected the occasion. When we returned to the Jacob household, we wrapped bunches of delicate flowers in aluminum foil to bring home to our mothers. I remember thinking that at other sleepovers, the morning would have been spent sluggishly watching a movie or going to the mall. I doubt that many tenth graders would have ended the overnight with such an innocent activity, yet Dary always made these types of things attractive and fun. It was, in fact, precisely what most of us girls need to do. It brought us back to the joys of childhood, when we as a class faced the precipice of womanhood. I think we all enjoyed the morning with a new appreciation and nostalgia.

Dary was ahead of all of us girls. Intellectually and spiritually mature, she understood the importance of enjoying life’s simple pleasures and not getting caught up in silly girlish concerns that at times consumed us. She kept us laughing with her crazy stories, klutziness, and random life insights. Her purity and generosity were practically visible. She glowed.

And Dary, you amazed me with these gifts every school day when we would open our lockers together or set up chapel, every Saturday when we would have circle, every time we would sit together at lunch or walk down the hall or go on random adventures together or see each other at church or in town. I especially noticed it this past January in Vermont: you talked about the past few months, appearing to truly accept your illness in a new way. I am so grateful that I heard your tone of voice and saw the look in your eye as you told me about trips to the hospital, yet never once did you complain and never once did you look unhappy. Even then your strength was unwavering as we skied, sledded, and stayed up talking and playing scrabble together. I will never forget a moment of those last days spent with you. I pray to God that we will one day relive every second of those heavenly days. Until then, so much love Dares.

Jessica Adam, Dary's cousin
Dary, 
As I sit here thinking about all the amazing times we had together it overwelms me. The memories that we shared will last forever, and they seem to be never ending. Starting with swimming at the pool in New Cannaan, to the thanksgiving we had in Vermont together you never ceased to amaze me. While it saddens me to know that memories like these cannot be made with you anymore, I can't help but to smile as I look back on the 18 years I have known you. Hiding massive amounts of candy in the cabin, watching you read an amazing amount of books before we went to bed, or later on correcting Laurie's reading of Harry Potter while she had the book and you did not, singing on the chairlifts in Sun Valley, skiing Olympic lane all day, teaching me how to cross country ski, painting the shed in Vermont, playing kick the can, setting up slip and slide, laying in the snow and then jumping into the hot tub in Sun Valley, racing to jump into the lake, horse back riding and so many amazing moments with you that I feel as if I could go on forever. To most people this is a laundry list, a run on sentence, but to me each one of those times with you is vivid and clear, and I will always consider myself lucky to have spent them with you. 

I love you and aways will, 
Jessica Adam

Rachel Adam, Dary's cousin
Being the eldest of the cousins, I never had anyone to look up to in age, but in terms of spirit, Dary was always an example I strove to follow. I admired her constant curiosity mixed with resilience that produced a wonderful sense of adventure. I always marveled at Dary’s high threshold for pain. She would cut herself or scrape a knee and just keep on going. In the time we spent in Vermont during the summers I remember thinking how heroic this was, as it meant she could happily jump in freezing water, fall down during Capture the Flag and then get up and keep running, even put up with two pesky brothers rather tolerantly.

I always felt connected to Dary not only because we were the two female blondies but because before I explored enough of the world to make friends who had a similar connection with nature and love of the outdoors, Dary and your family were kindred spirits. From the perspective of a cousin whose childhood memories sometimes distort the measure of achievement by any other standard, I will never forget that she had developed the means to continue reading in the dark far after her bedtime- a flashlight! I knew that Dary’s love of reading was the mark of someone whose dedication to knowledge was very special. It is comforting to be able to think of her and have a flood of childhood memories come to mind. For me, Dary will forever be a superior candy collector, one of the 5 backseat drivers, caretaker of Lizzie (the not so female guinea pig), fellow skier, a flea market bargain hunter, a cabin slumber partier, and a lover of sunny days.
All my love,
Rachel

Chapin Jacob, Dary's brother
Dary-

There are no words that could possible do justice to the incredible gift that you were to all of us. I miss you Dary, but over the last month I have come to realize that the greatest gift you have given me is a newfound faith in God and the knowledge that one day we will meet again in Heaven. I have so many found memories of you that I will eternally treasure, but when asked to write one down I knew that it must be of our recent dinner together. Those two hours we shared were amazing. We had many meaningful conversations about family, friends, and school, but through it all we laughed as you shared your immeasurable love for life with me. We talked long after our food was gone and every second we had together was a pleasure. When the bill finally came my stubbornness for once outweighed your determination and you let me pay. We agreed that you would take care of the next dinner, and I can’t wait!

You moved so many people Dary. I admire you so much for the depth with which you loved. I know that you are looking down on all of us right now. I will treasure my time with you and carry it with me in everything that I do. You will be with our family when we go to Vermont, every time we do dishes, and on every one of our family vacations. We will forever be a family of five.

Since your passing we have watched your favorite Lord of the Rings movies numerous times. You left us with a quote about how to live our lives, but in this time of mourning another quote has come to stand out for me. It comforts me by reminding me that our physical separation is only temporary, and we will see your smiling face again and hear your laugh, which we miss so much.

Gandalf: “End? No the journey does not end here. Death is just another path. One which we must all take… The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back and all change to silver glass…And then you see it.

Pippin: “What Gandalf? See what?”

Gandalf: “White shores and beyond… The far green country under swift sunrise”.

You will be with me in every step I take through life. I will love you forever Dary.

Lynn Kindley, Dary's aunt
As I read each of Dary’s remembrances, I realize how each person saw her in a different lights. Several elements do remain constant, especially her smile and laugh. (Oh. how we will miss them.) I saw Dary as a young lady who loved her family, her friends, her faith, her pets, and the Boston Red Sox!

Dary loved to play, whether it be a game or taking a new cross country skier down a very steep trail. Thanks a lot Dary! She loved to spar with her brothers and enjoyed the interaction of a large family gathering. Although Dary was chided about her athleticism, when she was in the water or on snow, she glided over these surfaces like an angel.

Dary's smile was so wonderful, but I do think one of her best big smiles was when she got out of the car after planning, navigating and driving from Washington to NC. It was such a great look of pride and satisfaction. She and her childhood best friend, Claire, made this trip without a hitch except they took about a two hour detour through something called "The Dragon". It is 11 miles with over 300 turns in it. Wow - I was impressed and glad I didn't know at the time.

On her recent visit with us, she had become "Sudoko Crazed". Since I was likewise addicted, I'd make photo copies for her and her friend from the morning paper. When they came up for breakfast, she was thrilled, but her first words were "Wait, is this a contest?" For those of you who played games with Dary, she took them very seriously and wanted to know the rules of engagement before the competition began. She sat herself up taller in her seat to make sure she was ready to go and with her mathematical mind sped through each puzzle.

There wasn’t a visit that wasn’t full of laughter. It was pure fun just laughing at/with each other. One did not even have to be present to be teased or stories told about them. In fact, Dary loved to tell stories about her Mom, Dad or brothers and she’d get laughing so that she could hardly talk. Again, she would make us "wait" to make sure she could finish a story before we moved on to some other topic.

Dary had a positive impact on everyone who knew her. She was a complex young lady, but she was still a "little girl". She will be terribly missed.

For the record Dary, it is true - "Girls Rule and Boys Drool".

Love,
Aunt Lynn
The Nice Aunt in NC

Ray Adam, Dary's grandfather
Dary, indescribable emptiness and deep sorrow has descended on all of your family since you left. We cry that we will never again see your wondrous smile, hear the music of your laughter, feel the friendly jabs of your fun. Nor will we know again the countless joys you brought to all of us.

When ill-health beset you, there was no way to elicit a complaint. You always turned the question to the questioner when asked about your own feelings.

This wonderful granddaughter never spoke any angry word or criticized others. Dary was always quick to volunteer--whether household chores, school project , or community events. Summer jobs , teaching childrens’ classes or guiding nature walks were all happily performed. Dary did not wear her piety, but she had a deep faith. We were especially close the weeks before her death. She programmed an ipod with her favorite music and gave it to Dorothy and me. She called often to help me operate it. And again she called the day before she died to tell us what a grand time she was having in North Carolina--western music, folk dancing, weaving crafts she had learned and the art objects she had created. It was an unusually long conversation, which we will always treasure. She ended by saying there was much more to do on the ipod and that she would call soon to help me.

My fondest recollections of Dary involved life at our Vermont vacation house--"the cabin". Badminton and croquet matches on the lawn, Dary reading in the hammock, kids catching bugs, grasshoppers, scrabble and Monoply fights with Charlie and Chapie, craft projects with her mother--number puzzles with her father--races on the lawn with cousins--swims in icy lake water--hikes in the woods and roads. Your life with us will inspire all of us to be better people. How lucky were we to know you!!! You fulfilled our life. Forever, Daddyray

Dorothy Adam, Dary's grandmother
In reviewing Dary's 18 years and 286 days I have realized that I was always sad to see Dary leave or to leave her. She was never boring. Everything she did was done well, whether setting the table for dinner or playing a Chopin concerto. I used to marvel at her placid brow and clear blue eyes, the eyes left no doubt about her intelligence. They saw, analyzed and remembered everything. On her first day of nursery school, Dary came home and told her mother the names of everyone in her class.

The Jacob dining table was lively and fun. THere was a lot of kidding and laughter. I can hear Dary's laughter now and hope to forever. When the conversation was quieter, Dary would sit listening but when she spoke, she had something significant to say, nothing silly or trite, and certainly not self-serving. Dary wil always be with me and will make me strive to be a better person. Forever, "Manu"

Charlie Jacob, Dary's brother
Dary-

I know you're reading this looking down upon all of us, having fun being an angel. I have already noticed some of the tricks you played on us all of us Dary. First of all the final accident that you put "the wreck" in was just way too funny. I can't wait to see more of the tricks you play on us. I have missed you so much Dary. I miss your crazy punches that you did to Chape and I when you got so angry with us. I miss your quotes and little skits from the movie Airplane. I miss how you would light up any room you walked into just by smiling. However most of all I miss your drive. You had drive that no person has ever had. On our trip to Zion this past summer, I remember watching you hiking through the creek. You were so determined not to fall. I recall when you slipped one time and using acrobatic moves and stellar coordination you caught yourself and stayed up. Chape and I were behind you laughing so hard. It was the funniest moment of the entire trip. However, even when you were about to fall, you still kept that same face of determination. You would not be denied. I think there is one quote which Mom, Dad, Chape, and I would say to you throughout your life, which says the way you lived your life it would be, "Dary do it."

I will love you forever Dary.

Joan Gilliland, Dary's aunt
“If a seed were planted for every time I thought about Dary, I would have one very big garden.” And Dary’s reply would have been, “Aunt Joan, what are you going to do with all that stuff?” Dary loved to question the whys of everything. In fact, in recent years, her favorite question was, “What do you mean by that?” This simple six-word question was Dary’s response to “What have you been doing?” Being the dutiful aunt, I gave Dary a very hard time about this.

Anyone, who spent time with Dary, knew she loved the outdoors. She was an excellent hiker even though at least one shoestring was always untied. I only saw a few of her “graceful” falls, probably because I was trying to get up from one of my own. But, if you’ve never hiked with the Jacobs, it’s an experience you won’t forget. Chapin reminds his Mom right from the start, “don’t be looking at every leaf and bug.” Dary and Neil would have performed a map study and they’re raring to go. Charlie, on the other hand, was bribed with M & M’s to come along.

Dary loved to do crafts, and when she came to visit, we worked on numerous projects. She always wanted to make a gift for her Mom. But, would comment that unlike Charlie, her gift was not going to be used for Mother’s Day, birthday, and Christmas. Dary tried her hand at many crafts and wanted to instantly master them. But, she didn’t want a bit of instruction – NOT A BIT! In fact, I wanted to teach her how to sew and she told me she already knew how – “just step on the pedal”. She wanted to do it herself. About three years ago, I took up rug braiding and taught her what I knew. Dary received all the supplies to make a braid and off she went – she made countless feet of braid. That was Dary’s way – give me a little guidance and then leave me alone. The only craft project that she complained about was the button-sorting project. “OK, I admit it Dary – I was making a contest out of sorting buttons for my own gain.” But, in the end Dary declared herself the fastest sorter as she had developed a much more efficient method for sorting. I guess you had to be there…

Dary was also a talented piano player and had a beautiful voice. When she and Charlie played duets, she would get so mad at him because he was hamming it up, and she was being so serious. On another occasion, we had a family talent contest at Christmas. Dary and her Mom sang a beautiful ballad. My sister and I “barked” Jingle Bells wearing our dog’s Christmas antlers and won the contest. Dary staged a mini protest and declared the whole thing “silly”. But, of course, she laughed at the end. And what a laugh she had. It was a wonderful laugh, passed down through the generations from her Grandmother, to her Mom, and then to Dary.

One could hear Dary laugh regularly, unless we were in the middle of a very “serious” game of Chicken’s Foot (or Chicken’s Toes as her Grandmother refers to it). There you would see Dary at her finest, analyzing the game. We would make snoring noises; ask her if she was still playing. But, she was not going to be deterred – she was going to make her move when she was good and ready. That was Dary – she did things her way.

Dary, you were one of a kind and you’ll always be missed because you are:

2 good
+ 2 be
4 gotten

Love,
“Ant” Joan

Heather McPherson, Friend of Dary's
I was a member of Dary’s Odyssey group at Merrowvista (summer of 2004) and one of the many people influenced by her vivaciousness and constant positive spirit. Dary would always have a glow about her as we hiked. That glow and good feeling spread to the rest of us. She shared herself with me and with all of us during those three weeks. As she must have told you, the trip challenged us all to our limits. She was one of the reasons why I made it to the top of Katahdin.

She shared the following reflection with our group after we returned from camp: “…the number one thing I probably learned on the trip was to enjoy the journey. I found myself looking around me at some point along the trail and realizing how much I had been missing before. I was overcome with the beauty of the landscape, the interesting stories that surrounded me, and the often beautiful and sometimes winded wisps of song that came from all the different places in our line. It became less about arriving at our destination than the hike to get there. I learned that we really had all day to get there, and if we wanted to take a 7 minute nap or swim or take a pack break every 10 minutes, it really didn’t matter, we simply had to reach our next campsite before dark….I realized that I have spent too much time looking at the top of the mountain and not enough time enjoying the sides of it…I have resolved to enjoy the journey this year.” From an e-mail Dary sent all of the Odyssey group on August 18th, 2004.

As I continue my journey in life, I will always take the memories of Dary with me. She made me a better person by helping me capture and enjoy every moment, and helping me see the sides of the mountains not simply the summit. I will never forget her smile and the twinkle in her eye as she made me and all of us laugh with her.

Sincerely,
Heather McPherson

Jill Mariani , Montrose Faculty
Eulogy given during Dary's funeral Mass, February 24, 2006

I want to tell you about a young lady who graced Montrose. Dary’s hard work, sense of humor, dedication to the school, and, above all, her spiritual outlook, made her an exemplary Montrosian.

10th Grade Montrosians go to Washington D.C. as part of the US History curriculum. Dary was given the assignment of presenting to her class, at the Lincoln Memorial, research on the memorial and on Lincoln himself. In order to make her presentation creative, Dary assumed the role of different people within Lincoln’s life to convey his story. She decided to wear one costume piece per person to note her shifts in character; a clever technique except for one problem: we couldn’t get her bow tie on so that she could be Lincoln. I mean, I tried to get it to work, Mrs. Leist tried, and several of her classmates. We just couldn’t get the clasp to fasten. So here we are, it is poring rain outside, the marble floor on which we all sat was freezing, all the girls were wet, and Dary had spent over a month preparing a 20 minute presentation! Dary made the split second decision how to handle this: she laughed. She just laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, which sent all of us into gales of laughter. With some rigging, the tie half went on and was half held up by Dary, who affected a wonderful seriousness to finish her report. Yet, laughter lurked right beneath the surface of her presentation. That was Dary. She knew that hard work and effort always shine through yet that life is not all about the end, but about the process throughout.

As evident, Dary’s enthusiasm for diving in and enjoying her work continued. That is not to say that she wasn’t a regular Montrosian: she felt at times overworked, challenged, tired and not ready to deal with the rules of school yet she also loved to learn in a “different” fashion. She danced in the Montrose parking lot during a Napoleonic dance party; when the class studied Napoleon we brought him to life by listening and dancing to Abba’s Waterloo. She eagerly practiced swing dancing steps when we studied WWII, laughing and trying to keep time without stepping on her classmates’ feet. And none of us can forget her famous hen outfit. Chosen to represent all hens in Orwell’s Animal Farm, Dary made paper wings and a lovely construction paper beak. Once again, wardrobe malfunction. Dary was so surprised that her well-constructed paper beak would just not stay put! I mean, she made a paper beak, it should be staying in place because she needed to look good on her parade throughout the school. Once again, as a class, we finally secured the beak though Dary’s giggling and indignation over her beak setbacks did continue to disrupt it thereafter. She made a wonderful hen.

Yet Dary was known not only as an academically strong and happy student but also as a spiritual one. Often you could see her bustling to prepare the chapel for Mass or see her hustling to get to class after she set everything straight from Mass. It was this service and love of God that strengthened Dary throughout her trials. Her devotion to her faith and dependence on God shone through and set such a beautiful example for all of us to follow.

I would like to leave you with one more memory aside from her a girl who was active in her school and academically successful. It is of a girl who loved her uniform. Dary use to lament that somehow she was the last person to find out about free dress days. Yet once she did find out, she had a new worry: what to wear.

We all missed Dary when she graduated, and we were so excited when she came back to visit us throughout this year. We know that she has left a big part of herself here with us at Montrose. We embrace our opportunity—and our responsibility-- to keep that part of her alive.

Alisa Harding Stein, Montrose Faculty
I am heartbroken over the loss of Dary. Whenever I think of her--and that's been almost constantly since hearing the news--I think of her laughing. I loved her laugh and the expression on her face when she laughed. Her laugh was infectious, but not in the usual way one thinks of a loud, infectious laugh. Hers was quietly infectious, I think, because her expression was so full of pure fun and silliness--not self-conscious at all. It was such an open and honest laugh, that it made others want to share in the pure joy she seemed to be celebrating. She appreciated silliness and the absurd, and I have to smile when I think of her reaction to some silly thing that was said in the art room.

Dary was a truly joyful presence in the art room. She had such a genuine warmth and sweetness about her, and she always seemed to embrace everything she did. She loved art and, even when challenged, kept a positive attitude. I cannot recall a day I ever saw her in a bad mood--even when struggling with illness, she had a ready smile and greeting. Dary was the kind of student who makes me love what I do. I looked forward to every class I had with her, because she was so eager to learn and try new things. This was especially evident the year an extra art elective was offered to students in place of their regularly-scheduled study halls. Although it obviously meant more work for her at home, Dary enthusiastically gave up her free period to indulge in making art.

Dary loved the outdoors and chose nature as her subject whenever she could. She had a deep appreciation and respect for nature, and that sensitivity to the natural world was clearly evident in her work. I remember talking to her about her hiking and my sea kayaking. She loved being outdoors. I told her she should always take a camera outside with her, because the few photos she took for various assignments were quite lovely. A year or so ago, we discussed how she should try and continue a specific series of photographs she'd taken of reflections in water, and she seemed quite interested in doing that...

As I said, I am heartbroken.

Colleen Tocci, Montrose Advisor
I did not have the privilege of advising Dary, but she would never fail to greet me in the hall with a few words and her beautiful smile. I was impressed by her graciousness, and her details of kindness to someone she did not know well.

I saw Dary in November with Kelly Stalmok, it was an unseasonably warm and sunny day, and they were at school for a little visit, and some lunch. I remember thinking, after our conversation, that is how we should all be, full of joy, and full of expectation. I was so happy to see them, and they were having a ball together. We caught up on news, and Dary said she felt very well, and I was happy for her. She greeted me as a long lost friend, and her usual radiant smile.

We are all enriched for knowing her. She was a person of courage, fortitude, and above all faith. I will carry her memory with me for the rest of my life, and will pray for her parents, and her brothers. The cross they carry is heavy indeed, but our faith tells us that this is only a temporary place, that this life is very fleeting, and that we will be united with our loved ones some day. Dary believed this, and we must honor her memory by living lives of faith, joy, and purpose. She would expect this, and we must carry on her beautiful legacy.

Katie Elrod , Montrose Faculty
Dary arrived in my office a shy and gentle 10 year old in 1997. As the admissions director, I remember having a delightful conversation about books and her summer home in Vermont. Almost ten years later, I had the privilege of teaching Dary her senior year in theology. She struggled in the class because of her illness, but she was determined to keep up. On her own she tackled Aristotle's ETHICS, and by January of 2005, we had a wonderful conversation about Augustine's transformation of Aristotle's definition of friendship during her oral exam. She was a reflective and careful thinker who enjoyed irony and laughed a lot!

In May 2005, I invited the class to BC to see my BC freshmen perform as philosophers in front of the whole freshman class. Dary, still sick and tired, decided to come along with Molly, Maggie and former Montose classmate Laura Hannon. Even though it was a crazy time--they were all trying to finish before Italy--they wanted to see a live conversation of philosophers. They arrived in two separate cars on campus. Laura was by herself in one car driving aimlessly around campus trying to find a parking space. The other 3 arrived just in the nick of time before the doors closed on an already overfilled lecture hall. When Dary realized that Laura was not there and that she had no idea how to find us on campus, Dary left the hall to call Laura to guide her step-by-step to the lecture hall. This was a risk because once you left the hall, the director of the freshman program would not let you back in. I was pinned in a few rows up and I knew that Laura AND Dary may miss the whole performance. 10 minutes later Dary arrived back in the hall with Laura and a big smile on both their faces--Laura looked relieved and Dary looked just happy to be there. As always, Dary lived up to Aristotle's definition of friendship--she desired the Good of the other first and never hesitated to act on it. She was so young to be that wise and good. I can only hope as her teacher that I can follow her in her fortitude and generosity.

Diane Lyon, Montrose Faculty
Dary and I shared a common interest, exploring the great outdoors! We had talked about our experiences hiking through New England and realized that we had often walked the same trails. She was my “reliable and steady” partner when we went rock climbing, and she was the “ultimate boarder” on the ski slopes. I could always count on her to help with any outdoor activity at Montrose. Dary lived life to the fullest.

Karen Bohlin, Head of School
Remarks made prior to All School Mass Celebrated February 14, 2006

Today we celebrate—as a family—an all school Mass for Dary Jacob. Confident that she is with God in Heaven we come together in prayer for the eternal rest of her soul. And it is so fitting that we have this Mass on Valentine’s Day. Dary would have loved that. She had so much heart…so much affection and love for her family and friends.

Dary also loved snow. I think she conspired with God to bring so much of it our way. She had a keen appreciation for natural beauty and a passion for adventure. She loved skiing, snow boarding, hiking, and biking.

For those of you who did not know Dary well, she was a young woman of deep faith, who understood the power of prayer and glimpsed the face of God in her own personal battle with illness. She bore her cross with a smile, always deflecting other people’s worry and concern for her. Instead, she focused on what everyone else needed. She had a gracefulness about her, a light in her eyes and joy in her step.

Dary admired St. Josemaria, and the following point from his book The Way exemplifies her personal courage,

Woman is stronger than man and more faithful in the hour of trial: Mary Magdelen and Mary Cleophas and Salome.

With a group of valiant women like these, closely united to our sorrowful Mother, what work for souls could be done in the world!

Dary has done an incredible work for souls; she has marked countless lives. She had a gift for slowing people down to enjoy the moment—a conversation, a magnificent sunset, or a good laugh.

Now she is helping each of us from Heaven. God in His infinite love and mercy takes us to Himself. He calls us home, at the right time. He is a gardener who waits until His flower is in full bloom—and magnificent. Then he gently picks us up saying, ‘I want to enjoy you for all eternity.’

Just last week, when I was talking with Dary’s father, Mr. Jacob, he remarked how happy Dary was and what a wonderful time she was having in North Carolina. She was indeed flourishing in so many ways.

Dary’s happiness was genuine, and now it will endure forever. We are privileged to have had Dary as part of our family here at Montrose. During this time of sadness we stand in solidarity with Dary and her family—Mr. and Mrs. Jacob, Charlie and Chapin. We stand united with her friends, especially those from the Class of 2005 and the numerous friends she made through summer programs, camps and expeditions. We pray that they and we will continue to see Dary’s radiant smile, learn from her faith and take comfort in the joy she so readily gave to others.

Heather McKinney, Montrose Faculty
Dary –

For all those years, I was your advisor -- at least that’s what the roster said -- but I always knew the truth. You were my advisor, my teacher. When I looked at you, I saw someone completely genuine. You were real, and you loved what was real. You loved your family and friends. How many times you talked about how much your brothers meant to you! You loved nature and didn’t hesitate to give up all the comforts of home and immerse yourself in the wilderness on those marathon hikes and bike rides. You loved God. You read and prayed, and you weren’t afraid to stand up what was right – even if you stood alone.

When I looked at you, I saw someone strong. Your illness conquered your body, but never your spirit. I think of those days that you got up and put on your uniform and tried to come to school, but couldn’t. They were the work of your indomitable will. When you did come in, you always told us that you were better, but we knew. You loved to learn and continued studying math outside of school, even when you couldn’t be here, because you “really liked math.”

You taught me so much already, and don’t think that you won’t be hearing from me in the future! Comfort your mother and father and Charlie and Chapin first, and then comfort the rest of us. Your real job is just beginning. You will be a blessing to us from heaven just as you were on earth.

Love always,
Mrs. McKinney

Kelly Stalmok, Montrose School Class of 2005
Hey Dare!

We’ve had so many great memories together that it would take forever to go through them all, but there are definitely a few that go in the record book as truly something else. For example, those times you and I would take long walks with Daisy and just enjoy being outside were amazing. Every time we were together we would have the best conversations whether it be about your amazing EMT training and all your awesome biking and hiking trips or more serious conversations about our faith. You were so full of wisdom and love that you helped put things into perspective teaching me (whether you meant to or not) to appreciate things in life and enjoy every minute that we are given and to do things for God.

Along with those beautiful memories we also had quite a few good laughs over the years. Despite the fact that we were seniors at Monty and we were supposed to be mature adults we definitely did not act that way. I loved when we would race each other through the halls and to history class. You would get so competitive that you would toss a few elbows, flip a few chairs and even push me into the window once. All in good fun of course! I miss our study halls in the hall where we would spend most of the time talking but always seemed to get our work done. Another thing, you were such a huge Harry Potter fan that when the new movie came out you asked me to go with you, and your aunt and brother. Just one problem…I didn’t know anything about Harry Potter. Being your thoughtful self you quickly went on the internet and got the sparknotes for Harry Potter and gave them to me to read. After briefly explaining it a little bit better for me you quizzed me on it! But that’s what you did best. You were given a problem and you creatively found a solution for it!

We’ve shared so much together. We’ve laughed together, cried together and I’m sure we even got in a little bit of trouble together, but I would not trade any of those wonderful times together for anything. I really admire you Dare. You were given quite the cross to carry and you did it with grace and a smile, never complaining and always so positive. As I told you so many times before you were a fighter. I’m so glad to have had a friend like you who I could turn to and who knew just how to help. I love you so much and miss you terribly. Thanks for blessing all of us with your love, friendship and devotion. I love you Dare!

Love Always,
Stalmok

Elizabeth Mahoney, Montrose Faculty
I never taught Dary, but I was always impressed by her prayerfulness. Many times when I would stop by St. Patrick’s Adoration Chapel after work, I would find Dary there praying in the back of the chapel. Her faithful and reliable dedication as a chapel assistant at Montrose School is also vivid in my mind. At the conclusion of her senior year I gave her a card wishing her well. Soon after, she mailed me a note of sincere gratitude for my sentiments. I will always cherish Dary in my memory as a thoughtful, prayerful and sincere person who brightened our lives here at Montrose.

Mary Jane Rice, Montrose Faculty
Dary rarely thought about herself. Instead she focused on friends, family, learning and loving life. We all know Dary suffered, but looking at her each day you would have never guessed it. Although she didn’t start college at the same time as her peers, Dary made the effort to stay a part of their lives.

Dary never questioned God’s will for her and the fact that she had been asked to deal with chronic illness. This past year I gave Dary a copy of the late John Paul II’s encyclical on the Christian Meaning of Suffering. I got the distinct impression that Dary was at peace with her illness and that she knew she was helping Jesus to carry the cross and co-redeem.