SPEECH TO MONTROSE MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2005

Good afternoon, Dr. Bohlin, mothers and grandmothers, daughters, guests and friends. I am happy to be with you today on such a pleasant occasion. When Linda Hammond asked me to speak to you on this year’s school theme: Purpose, I admit that I was impressed with the theme. Purpose! What a great theme for the school year! I also admit that what came to my mind first was a silly joke my brother used to tell when we were in high school – one of those moron jokes so popular decades ago. It goes like this: A moron – or let’s just say a very silly person – was standing in his room banging his head furiously against the wall. His brother, disturbed by the noise, came rushing in. “Leonard,” He said. “Why are you banging your head against the wall?” Leonard stopped momentarily, looked at his brother, and smilingly said, “Because it feels so good when I stop!” I thought, now there is a man with a purpose! Of course, Leonard’s purpose was purely a negative one. Why would you do something harmful to yourself just to experience the relief of not doing it?

Alfred Nobel, the Swedish chemist, also began his career with what one would call a negative purpose. He made a fortune early in life inventing powerful explosives and marketing them to governments for weapons development. But then something happened that changed his life dramatically. His brother died, and a newspaper, having already a great deal of data on Alfred because of his weapons fame, mistakenly published Alfred’s obituary instead of his brother’s. Alfred read his own obituary with dismay. The world will remember me, he thought, as the inventor of explosives to enable whole armies to destroy one and other, and innocent victims as well. He found it very disturbing to be identified as a man bent on the death and destruction of others. He thought a lot about this, and decided to change his life and fortune to a new purpose. He established the famous Nobel prizes for recognizing and rewarding each year people who had achieved great things in the arts and sciences that would benefit, not destroy, humanity. In addition, one of those prizes would go to the person in the world, who, that year, had done the most to promote peace. Nobel’s whole life purpose had changed from a negative to a positive one; instead of amassing money through the destruction of life, he decided to invest his money in enhancing it. So, negatives CAN turn positive (but you wouldn’t want to have to read your obituary to get there!)

We have many purposes in life; most are shorter-term ones: they are really just goals or objectives. And they can be very worthy ones:
“I want to be a CEO by the time I am 25”; “I want to get an A in biology”; “I want to play varsity basketball this year”. “I am aiming at getting an 800 on my SAT’s”. “I am going to lose weight”. We are all familiar with these types of goals or purposes. But if this is ALL we have in mind, we are missing something. Rick Warren, author of the best-seller, THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE says, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams or ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God.” (PDL, p.17)

Further on, Warren says, “You were made by God and for God—and until you understand that, life will never make sense.” (PDL, p. 18) Now this is not a sermon or a homily. But what I would like to suggest here is that although we all may have worthy SECONDARY goals, what’s needed in life is an OVERRIDING purpose, an ultimate one, to which the others are in some way subordinated. And if I keep that in mind and make that overriding goal a priority, all the secondary goals or purposes will fall into place. I like the way Warren opens his book: “It’s not about you.” he writes. “Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose.” (PDL, p. 17). And he even quotes philosopher Bertrand Russell, an avowed atheist, who says, “Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless.”

Now, what does all this have to do with Montrose? Well, I think Montrose, since its beginning, has been a school with a mission, and that mission is necessarily bound up with life’s real purpose: living out our faith in God as strong, Christian women who want to help others to do the same. Montrose, over its short span of 26 years, has helped many people: parents, faculty, and students, shape and reaffirm their life purpose, by its very existence, and by the spirit that prevails there. I’d like to talk to you about four things Montrose has done for me over the years in terms of teaching, mentoring, inspiring and building relationships. Some of you know that in one of my subject areas, history, I used to stress the importance of the B.P. the “Big Picture”. In history it’s crucial to keep in mind this Big Picture. Otherwise one can get lost in insignificant details which, though important, are only so in relation to the whole. I was grateful when I first started at Montrose that this idea of the Big Picture of Life was not forgotten: Those words on the Purpose Bookmark: Why am I here? Where am I going? Who do I want to become? were part of my growing experience at Montrose. For that experience, however, I do admit that I had a little bit of previous preparation.

Many years ago, nearly 30, or as Fr. Dick would say, back in the Middle Ages, I had the opportunity to help found a school like Montrose. Like Montrose, it began with a group of parents with an immediate purpose: they wanted to found a school for girls which would educate women of character. There were about 21 families in all, from different backgrounds, but they all agreed on one thing: they were not happy about the current education their teen-age daughters were receiving, and they wanted to do something about it. They had purpose and a vision. They also had great faith, human faith; they were just like the founders of Montrose.

My task with this group was to do the following: secure a faculty; order books and supplies; and biggest of all: to find a place to have the school. The students and parents were already there. This was in February of 1976. They wanted to open in September, 1976. We definitely had an IMMEDIATE purpose: find a building. We searched everywhere. A mom volunteered her real estate services. We looked at vacant buildings, warehouses, churches, offices, pre-schools, play schools, synagogues, old mansions. All summer, looking, viewing, discarding, mulling, considering, rejecting—but nothing. Either too big, too small, poor location; too expensive, too run-down, unsuitable-again, nothing. August came. Late August. School was set to open in two weeks. Then came a phone call which I consider to be one of the greatest examples of faith in a human being that I have ever known.

It was Mr. C. His daughter was already registered. “Miss O’D. ,” he began. “I don’t mean to be pushy or anything. But could you perhaps tell me the LOCATION of the school? I mean we’re just trying to work out a carpool, and I was just wondering, where might we be going? I mean, like the address?” Pause. “Now don’t worry, if you don’t know you can call me back.” To me that was faith as I had never experienced it. And I reflected that purpose, human purpose, has a lot to do with faith. But such gigantic faith as that I had never seen. And I think it was due to that other greater faith we all had in that God wanted this school, so it had to happen. So we prayed some more, and fervently, and toward the end of August, suddenly we found it. It was a large and beautiful house, a mansion, with lots of rooms and an art studio on the top floor. It was in a quiet residential neighborhood, surrounded by large trees. In front was a sign that said: For Rent: Call ___________. We called. It was a couple whose children had grown. They didn’t want to sell, just rent for a year or two, while they went South. No questions asked. You’ll be tutoring some young girls? That would be fine. We looked nice. They looked nice. They were in a hurry. We were in a hurry. Done. We began the school. And it is still going strong today!

The same holds true for Montrose. A group of dedicated parents and a woman, Dr. Betty De Tore, who also had a purpose—to found a school for girls of faith and character. Actually, the parents came first. They were the prime movers, and when they found Dr. De Tore, they knew they had found the right person for such an endeavor. Montrose then began in Brookline, MA in the fall of 1979, and believe it or not, I was fortunate enough to come to Boston and to be on board with this second educational adventure. Betty was a woman of vision, prayer, and humor. Mother of seven, she literally gave her all to founding this wonderful school that today is such a flourishing testimony to what it means to live with a high purpose. The school began also with just 28 girls, in Grades 7-10. And I joined not the administration, but the faculty this time. I was finding my own purpose. I had always loved the classroom. Teaching was what I did best--and even that needed more work, I thought. But as I saw it through God’s eyes, that is what He wanted of me. To serve in this new place as a faculty member and to get back into the classroom. So I began to teach English and history while pursuing another Master’s degree at Boston College part-time.
I think my years at Montrose only helped to strengthen my answers to those Big Questions that I was asking myself: Who am I? Why am I here? Of course on some days, I DID ask: Why on earth am I here? When we had no heat, for example, or students had to go out and ring the door bell to signal change of classes (and then didn’t come back for a whole period!), I probably DID say: Why am I here? But I wanted to teach. I loved history. I wanted to share that love and enthusiasm for my subject with my students. Surely one of the greatest joys I have had in teaching is to see many of my students, like Anna here, to first, go into education themselves, many of them into teaching history, and second, far surpass my meagre talents in doing it! Lauren Noble, a current Montrose teacher, is a one great example. Most importantly, I learned to see my students as wonderful young people, full of aspirations and dreams, in need sometimes of guidance and encouragement, of mentoring if you will, and I found another great purpose there: in helping them achieve excellence in their work and not to settle for the mediocre. At the same time, as an advisor, I hoped to inspire them to be good persons, dedicated to others, to ideals of love and service—with their families, their peers, and those who could benefit from their talents. I also encouraged them to live their faith and to seek always that life-guiding purpose of growing closer to God.

Inspiration. Our lives are always inspired by people who determined their life’s purpose, their calling, if you will, and then committed themselves to attaining it. Mother Teresa, for example, and our beloved John Paul II. Mohandas Gandhi, who achieved independence for India by non-violent means and introduced to the world the concept of non-violent non-cooperation with evil. Individuals can and do inspire, but so do institutions. At Montrose I have been inspired: by students, administrators, faculty members, and parents. I was inspired by Betty de Tore because I saw the dream she had come true, even though she didn’t live to see it. I have been inspired by the Montrose faculty. In all my 35 plus years of teaching, I have never found such a espirit de corps, such a caring and generous group of teaching colleagues as I have at Montrose. Oh that good old faculty room, those Christmas skits, and a camaraderie rarely found in other educational settings! I was inspired by you parents, especially Montrose Moms; you bowled me over! Your love for the school, your dedication, those pizza lunches and special days, those long clean-ups after some late evening school event—believe me, that was, and still is, heroism!

And I have always been inspired by students. People think that only students are inspired by teachers or mentors, but that is not true. Students inspire teachers as well, in big and little ways. Let me share a few such incidents: One occurred prior to my coming to Montrose, but it is worth the telling: Amy G. was a tall, blonde bushy-haired student in my senior English class one year. Students had to write and deliver from memory an 8 minute persuasive speech on any suitable topic that they felt strongly about. I confess I don’t even remember Amy’s topic; all I recall is that she did it well. It wasn’t until some time later that some of her friends, also students in that class, told me, “Miss O’D., you will never guess what Amy did on the subway the day she gave her speech in class! At one point, when the Metro has a long quiet ride to the next stop, she suddenly stood up at the end of the subway car, and announced to the people: “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? I have to give a speech in my English class today, and I need just one more run-through before I get off this train. Would you be so kind as to listen to me?” Then, she proceeded to give the whole speech to the subway car, and finished just as the train was pulling into the next stop! That was inspiring to me! What an example of daring, high motivation, and of… opportunism!

Another student inspired me in a different way. Sometimes you wonder if you are getting through to them on the important things of life. Are students really making their own all this business of overriding purpose, of living a good moral life, of becoming women of character?
The big test, of course, is college. Montrose is not a shelter. It’s really a boot camp. Can they hold the line of fire out there on the college campus? Well, this one did. This Montrosian went away to a big university in another state. Co-ed, of course, dorms and all. The first Sunday she was there, she was standing with a group of students in the dorm and announced that she was going to Mass. She was met by comments of derision and scorn. “Mass? You mean you still do that stuff? Oh, come on! You’re in college now!” Jennifer (that’s what I will call her) just put her hands on her hips and said, “Wait a minute! Going to Mass is my choice! It’s part of who I am! You got a problem with that?” And she went off to Mass. The next day, a boy who had been in the group making fun of her came up to her and said, “You know, that was really good yesterday, what you said about going to Mass. I used to be Catholic, you know. Could I go to Mass with you next Sunday?” And she started dating him and brought him back to his faith. So, inspiring others works in many ways. It has a ripple effect!

We learn from each other. And at Montrose I think a strong lesson on all levels is the importance of recognizing when we make a mistake and we correct it, we set it right. If I have been unduly harsh, I need to apologize. Look, class, I was a bit hard on you all yesterday and I apologize. (but I was RIGHT! No, don’t say that!) Moms need to do that too, I think. We all need to acknowledge our obvious faults, because that honesty really helps young people.

Finally, relationships. Montrose believes that relationships are important and fosters their growth. I know Montrose grads, some married now, of the Class of 1986, who still meet and have lunch together! It’s true that in a small school, the opportunity for many relationships is more limited, but conversely, the ones that are made and deepen, last. Again, Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life, has many wonderful things to say about relationships. I like especially his chapter on Love. “Love,” he writes, “should be your top priority.” And love is played out in all kinds of relationships. If we are going to live a life full of deep purpose, we need to cultivate and deepen our relationships with others, with all kinds of people. “Relationships,” says Warren, “not achievement or the acquisition of things, are what matter most in life….Busyness is the great enemy of relationships….Without relationships there is no one to love.” Why does he say this? Because love is what we take with us to eternity. We will be judged on how we loved others, how we served them. And for teachers, and mothers, and dads, too, that sometimes means “tough love” like the kind Mrs. C. exhibited in her long years as a Montrose coach. “Love leaves a legacy,” Warren says. “How you treated other people is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth.” Even Mother Teresa used to say, “It’s not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters.” And Warren equates that love with time and attention. “the most desired gift of love is not diamonds, or roses or chocolates. It is focused attention.” (p. 127 PDL) Listening and caring.

Even when we don’t feel like listening OR caring. “The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.” (Warren, p. 127) So now we are back to purpose: a life of purpose necessarily means a life of loving dedication to others. Before closing, I would just like to insert a thought that occurred to me after I had written this speech. And that is the idea that Montrose graduates girls who are not prepared for the big, bad world they are going to find out there: i.e. the current college campus. That graduates will meet so much diversity, so much religious ignorance, so much immorality posing as ‘naturalness’, that they will be overwhelmed and begin to question their Montrose education. If that were to happen to any Montrosian, I would say, like Shakespeare’s Cassius in the play Julius Caesar, “The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

Meaning that perhaps we, or those graduates, did not assimilate and make our own our Christian calling to change the world, not to be overcome by it. You can go to college and succumb to the environment; you can go to college and not succumb, but be miserable for four years. Or you can go to college and begin to change that environment. It only takes a few strong leaders and it is beautiful to see that that is exactly what is happening on some campuses today. When I was in Texas recently, someone called my attention to an article in the Houston Chronicle noting that Princeton University is the first Ivy League school where students have said, “Enough, already!” to the promiscuity, excessive drinking, and senseless behavior that has characterized campus life for several decades now. They have formed an alternative group of students, men and women, who have rejected that as inhuman, and who are creating their own sort of wholesome entertainment for the weekends. It was encouraging to read that, and I know from other students that the same thing is going on at Notre Dame, and hopefully at other campuses as well. So the tide is turning. But it took leadership; it took men and women who wanted to make a difference and it’s working. I like to think that a Montrose education doesn’t end at Montrose graduation. That it will live on in its graduates who are women with a purpose That’s what Montrose is all about, that is what it taught me as a faculty member, and that is what I hope it will mean for all generations of Montrosians.